Wednesday, May 08, 2013

Governor's press conference praises construction of newest great pyramids

Gov. Terry Branstad announced Wednesday that MidAmerican Pyramids will make a $1.9 billion investment in Iowa burial shrine projects that will be the biggest single burial of taxpayer cash ever in the state.

"As wasteful spending goes, so does Iowa's necropolis economy," said Branstad, who spoke enthusiastically about the plans. He added, "Remember, once they make this investment it will be here for the next 4000 or 5000 years."

Mid-American Pyramids project in Wadsworth, IL.  
Flickr image via Chuck.falzone.

MidAmerican officials said no sites have been selected yet, but they hinted that the sites would be in the cities of the dead in northwest Iowa and south of Interstate 80.

Branstad, speaking at a late afternoon news conference, said MidAmerican will add up to 1,050 royal burial spaces, consisting of up to 656 pyramids, in Iowa by year-end 2015.

Greg Anubis, chairman, president and CEO of MidAmerican Embalmed Royalty Holdings Company, thanked the Governor for supporting eternal hospitality to America's pharoanic class, adding "Iowa's congressional delegation created the opportunity for this investment through their willingness to forcibly extract funds from taxpayers to build homes for their mortal remains in Iowa. None of this would ever be possible without lavish federal funding."

Lt. Gov. Kim. Reynolds said in a prepared statement, "In addition to helping boost our state and local economies, the expansion will create approximately 460 pyramid slave overseer jobs over a two-year period and an estimated 48 permanent tomb sentry jobs."

Supporters of the project dismissed objections that the pyramids are a waste of money, diverting resources from more efficient ways to inter dead politicians, saying "you must hate jobs."